August 21st, 2014

officialunitedstates:

 a man walks into a bar exam.  he is incredibly unprepared and fails to get his law degree

August 18th, 2014
I should probably masturbate
Me whenever I’m home alone   (via cheefkief)

(Source: spicy-vagina-tacos, via g0hardorgohom3)

August 12th, 2014
Robin Williams isn’t dead. He’s just waiting in the jungle until someone rolls a 5 or 8.
dedicated to Robin Williams (1951-2014)

(Source: reveriefeels, via ellielouisa)

Met a girl that said she recognised me from the vegetarian club but I had never met herbivore.

August 5th, 2014

Captain America has been fighting bad guys since WW2 and he’s still just a Captain. Talk about an underachiever.

July 28th, 2014

amazayn-grace:

do guys sit around hoping that a girls dupatta or bangles will get caught in their sherwani or is that just not a thing

(via chuck-my-deuces)

July 27th, 2014

"you look hot enough to cook a pizza on" is a good compliment to give a girl, right?

July 26th, 2014

aqibrehman:

“Lets take this to the bedroom…”

I say as I carry my plate of Birayni to my room.

(via thatguywhosipschai)

July 25th, 2014

My only goal in life as a londoner is to be someone’s rush hour crush in the metro newspaper.

July 8th, 2014

Neymar is sitting at home thinking to himself, “I could’ve had a fucking hatrick by now!”